The story of us

So I sit here in my living room browsing along on Facebook .When I come across ed ,well should I say that I searched a Fb page of someone who means the entire world to me and has been very dear to my heart for 15 yrs . Seems this someones ex made them a F.B page . Of course I already knew that . As said person does not have a fb page . or even uses the Internet.anyways long story short first said person had no pictures on said fb page now pictures of him and his ex wife fill the page .When they were not there before .Wondering just what was really going on and why all of a sudden this person feels the need to let me know who she is and what her connection to this person is ? Wondering if I should write a letter to the love of my life or message the ex wife?Or should I say soon to be ex wife? As he informs me they have been separated for 2 yrs . She how ever just recently split with her boyfriend who she says beat her . She has been living north in Clarks with him for a while now not sure where it is she is from or how he met her but she is how ever 25 yrs younger than him.He says he wants a sober woman and  I can give him that .She says he is a nutty asshole and I understand that as I have known him almost half of my life .Both of his ex wives lol i know . I think that this is just too much for my brain to handle .He wants me North I want to be with him but need to know my children (even though they r grown) r safe .I do not understand my attraction or my need to be with this person .I have no clue as to why he has this freaking hold over my heart .Maybe I need serious mental help lol Idk anymore .All I do know is i honestly love this person long to be with him every single day.From the moment I met him all I ever wanted to do was belong to him .

and as I sit here contemplating my freaking life ? I am like wtf really ?People piss me off my boyfriend (fiancee) what ever you want to call him is sooo damn judgmental of every one in my life he is quick to point the finger quick to judge and quick to point out all the faults of everyone I love or care about.I know this may sound petty or immature but really I can't take this anymore.I just want to be left the fuck alone .I know I have faults I know I am not perfect,so dont freaking judge me .He has no children of his own nor does he want any (so he says).I am a bad parent for letting one of my children drop outta school (i have three)Said child is way too smart to put up with uneducated teachers crap.They do not want toteach the right way he calls them out on it and the public looks at me and says why cant you do anything with this child lock him up and throw away the key he is no good .I say B.S. he is bright intelligent and wise way beyond his years,challenge him ,he will be interested.Grant it I live in he one state ranked lowest on the scale for public education but still we are trusting these people with the future of our children. My tax dollars pay for you to get a pay check ,so therefore you should do what is expected of you and teach ,not because you have to but because you want to. as far as athe ol man goes well I havem slowly come to realize that this relationship is a lost cause.Nothing I do or say is good enough and more is always expected of me .I can'y give anymore I am done empty and just want to be left alone .Please don't be so quick to judge me unless you have stood in my shoes.I am a real person just like anyone else I think I feel I breathe I cry just like every other human being on this planet .So if I come across as crass or rude eff you I am who I am and not your or anyone else is going to change me .GOD made me this way for a reason deal with it